Fans know the long-haired players by, well, their long hair. So why do we need to see their names?

Are officials actually going to bring in licensed hair dressers each week to make sure the hair isn’t too long, and if it is, take a little of the top?

In the future, we may be able to look forward to even more ridiculous rules set by the old gray-haired NFL owners.

Tattoos will be banned, and if players have them, they will be required to have the surgery to remove them and replace them with NFL sponsors.

Overweight players will be required to wear girdles so that guys like former defensive tackles Warren Sapp and Tony Siragusa can’t let their guts hang out when they tower over the defensive line.

No visors, gloves, or tape will be worn. And for that matter, every player will be required to get manicures so that they’re fingernails don’t look any different from anybody else’s.

And then we will finally have a league that looks the way the owners like it, which oddly enough looks like a communist military regime.

Let the players play. That’s how the pockets of bigwigs around the league get filled.

And while they’re risking their necks on a weekly basis in a sport where the retirement packages are actually worse than social security, let them have a little fun, too.