Being responsible for a baby’s care can sometimes be overwhelming, even for the best parents or childcare providers. Infants are utterly dependent on whoever is attending to them. They must be fed, they need their diapers changed, they need to feel safe and secure — the list may seem endless.

Babies’ dependence, as well as their vulnerability to their environment, means that parents should be prepared for occasional feelings of helplessness, when a little one won’t stop crying. The stress of trying to shush a wailing infant has, in some tragic cases, led to adults inadvertently venting their frustrations in the worst possible ways. Forcibly shaking a baby to get it to stop crying, for example, may silence the little one permanently.

When a baby is shaken, its head rotates uncontrollably because its neck muscles aren’t well developed. Violent movement bounces the brain back and forth within the skull, rupturing blood vessels and nerves throughout the brain. Children who survive the trauma may be left with irreversible conditions such as blindness, hearing loss, seizures, severe mental retardation and paralysis. Even in milder cases, babies may eventually develop one or more of those problems.

Those who have unintentionally harmed their own child or a baby in their care are usually not bad people. The stress of attending to one whose only mode of communication is crying simply overwhelmed them momentarily. The best defense against a child being harmed is education — knowing why babies cry and knowing what to do as an adult when you feel helpless. It is no sign of weakness for a mom or dad to call for help while you take a few moments to regain your composure. Sometimes, stepping away and taking a break from that little one can mean the difference between life and death.