Valdosta Daily Times


August 18, 2013

The boot barrier and other tales

-- — Fall is coming ... Did you sense how I just got all “Game of Thrones” on you? Despite my parody, it is true. Sept. 22 marks the first day of autumn and breaks what I have been referring to for years as the “boot barrier”.

The boot barrier is much like the “don't wear white pants after Labor Day” rule. It is that awkward limbo between summer and fall where one can't decide when in fact it's appropriate to wear boots. Sure, all summer feeble-minded college students have been blatantly spitting in the face of the rule as they paraded around in booty shorts and UGG boots because you know, when the heat index is 110 degrees, ones’ feet and calves might get chilly. However, their stupidity and irreverence for common societal standards by no means eradicates the rule. Sorry budgeteers, I don't enforce the rules, I only make them up.

As Sept. 22 marks the official day that you may wear your boots, there is one exception to the rule. If it is after Labor Day and the temperature drops below 80 degrees and another woman in your office wears boots first, you may then from that point on wear boots as well.

This ladies and gents is what we call a “Hail Mary” in the fashion world. It is a risky move that can only be attempted by a singular female in the interest of others. If the Hail Mary is not flawlessly executed, this is what we call a “breach of boot barrier”. While there are no legal or monetary consequences, you will be forever labeled as a fashion pariah.

Now that I have extensively discussed the most crucial part of your fall fashion, I feel confident to move on . . . Don't make me regret this. While being able to wear boots is very much a benefit of the impending fall, there are some certain setbacks and most of them have to do with your budget.

Season after season, the fashion world berates us with magazines full of “must have” wardrobe pieces. I love you Vogue, but you “must have” lost your darn mind if you think I'm going to pay a semester's worth of college tuition just to live up to your definition of fashionable. I may not be a super model or a fashion magazine editor, but I do tote some fashion credentials of my own. That's right; in 2006 I was voted as my high school's best dressed in the class. Yeah, I'm kind of a big deal.

So, just because I love you so much, I have studied the fall 2013 runway fashions and here is a list of my personal top five fall wardrobe staples that won't bust your budget:

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